Those of you closer to me will know just what a fucked up little puppy I am. Excessive drinking to deal with emotions, mood swings measured in seconds, general basterdism, etc....
So I had a heart to hear with Liz the other day.... (My partner of 23 months for those that don't know).... Told her everthing that I have been feeling. All my need to escape, to run the fuck away from everyone, everything, and her....
She replied with telling me that if she though that would make me happy she would back me 100%, but that she thought I would still be carrying all the fucked up shit I am with me to wherever the hell I ended up.... I think she's right
While it may be a worthless gesture I feel the need to point out how lucky I am to have found her. The average woman would have dumped me and all my excessive shit baggage a long time ago. I love her with all my heart................. Sadly this usually means she is the first target in my self destructive outbursts....
During our discussion she did however make a great comment. I was thinking of running off to another country... selling everything I own, cutting off all contacts, and doing NOTHING but playing guitar 24/7 (though probably some sort of work somewhere) to have 1 final stab at making a career out of the 1 thing I have a genuine passion for. She suggested I save up some money and take 2-4 months away from everyone. Take my guitar, take something to record with... leave her and everything else behind and she'll be waiting for me when I get back. She truly is an amazing woman. For all the negatives I have in my life she balances that out by being the most amazing person I have ever met. (Yes she is horribly ill (seriously, like may die any day) is allergic to everything, doesnt like any movies/music I do, but all that falls aside when I KNOW, no doubt, that she will be with me forever if I can earn that)
So anyway... the point of this is rather vague. Comments on relationships, my plans to fuck off out of the world for a few months when work people are planning on making me a manager already........... Basically I'm just looking for dialogue, most of you guys are pretty ensightful when you stop dicking around for 5 seconds....
Please reply
Luke (Major)












