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Jokes not for easily offended


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#1 Mokoo

Mokoo
  • [DkR] Clan Member
  • 22 posts
  • Location:Stockport

Posted 21 May 2014 - 06:48 pm

If you are easily offended then please don't read past this line.

 

No racist or homophobic jokes please.

 

Picture jokes welcome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm Josef Fritzl and no windows was my idea.

 

 

 

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world."

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

 

 

 

 

What do you do if you come across a tiger in the Jungle?

Wipe it off and apologise

 

 

 

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"

 

 

 

A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.

"Morning!" he said.

The other man replies, "No, just having a shit."

 

 

Subway now refuse to serve ham or bacon so as not to offend Muslims.

Not the first time they've fucked up our subways, in fairness.  

 

see jokes like this can be easily offending if this is not acceptable please tell me so I won't post. thanks.

 

 

The Nigerian Government are now offering a $3million reward for the safe return of the missing girls.

All you need to do is to provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name.

 

 

This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy."

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

 

 

My wife sent me a text last week:

'When you get home from work I'm going to strip naked and do a sexy dance for you'

So far I have accumulated 94 hours overtime.

 

 

People are saying that sperm has terrific anti-wrinkle properties.


But if that were true, with the amount of wanking I do, my bed would probably make itself.

 

 

Former England goalkeeper David James has been declared bankrupt.

He could never fucking save anything anyway.

 

 

 

Porn Hub has pledged to plant a new tree for every hundred videos viewed on its site.

The amount of tissue paper I get through, I'm still not sure that's environmentally sustainable.

 

 

 

 


Edited by Mokoo, 24 May 2014 - 10:04 am.

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I am the Alpha and Omega, the first and the last. 

Oh my god, best nerd rage ever. I'm sure he was typing this whilst dressed as Boba Fett and masturbating at a photo of George Lucas.





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